Tremors
by StarsEternal
Summary: Sai returns, to a girl who thought she'd finally managed to move on, from him…and go. femHikaru
1. Prologue

Prologue

Complete silence. The air is drawn tight like a pulled string. The overhead lights glare, coating the wooden walls in a burning white glow. The room's occupants dare not breathe too hard, fearful of disturbing the still air. They sit like stone statues, their postures severe and reverent.

All around, the pressure is devastating. It speaks of a force ancient and sacred. Inhuman - as if a god himself is present.

Suddenly, the sound of approaching footsteps can be heard. The room stirs slightly in anticipation. _They're coming. They're here._

Two new occupants enter. Slowly, they make their way to the center of the room. The one walking behind pauses briefly.

Her breath escapes her.

In what feels like eternity but is only a second, she takes in the lights and the glow, the stillness and the force of a god.

Her feet pads softly on the wooden floor. The train of her kimono robe billows and trails behind her as she moves. She stops in front of the polished goban. Knees tucked, legs folded and back straight in a seiza, she mimics the person across her.

The lights are upon them.

She feels the blood pounding in her veins, quickening in tempo. Already her fingers are trembling, her knees shaking.

Her mind, strangely enough, is in a state of calm. Her vision is clear, and she sees everything before her with a lucidity that only comes in times like these.

 _Clack. Clack. Clack._ The rings of the stones stirring in the bowl sing like a song.

361 stones.

A 19x19 grid of intersecting lines.

An unfathomable number of possibilities. And she _sees_.

She faces her opponent, and comes to an understanding.

They will play an unforgettable game, one that will be remembered for centuries to come.

The stone, their stars.

The board, the universe.

The game.

 _Go_


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Hikaru no Go. The series belong to Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. I'm just writing this for fun.

* * *

Chapter 1

"Move out of the waaaay!"

"Speed boost. Speed boost. Please, _pleeeease_ -YES! Eat dust, Daichi!"

Daichi Shindou groaned, throwing down his controller before collapsing back into his armchair, huffing. The TV screen on the wall in front of them erupted in confetti and fireworks as the final scoreboard pulled up.

"First! Yes!" Hikaru Shindou punched the air, jumping up from where she was sitting on the floor and proceeded to do a little victory jig.

"How…How? I was so close!" her brother cried, pulling at his hair in sheer frustration. This had been the eighth out of the ten races that they played where Hikaru won. And he was the one who taught her how to play!

"What can I say," Hikaru crowed, "I'm just too lucky."

"Lucky my ass," Daichi grumbled. But it was true. Even with Hikaru pulling crazy stunts on the track, like she did every time they played, he was so sure that he was going to win this time. His hopes were again dashed because, sure enough, Hikaru had somehow nabbed that rare, nearly impossible to obtain Mushroom of Speed right at the end, and he could only watch in horror as she once again passed his car to first place. Really, if he had that kind of luck that Hikaru had when it came to gaming, he would buy a lottery ticket every day.

Daichi bent down to pick up his controller. "Again," he huffed, lips set in a firm line. He was determined to beat her and put an end to his embarrassing string of losses – and he wasn't going to give up until it happened. His pride as the older brother, even if only by one year, was on the line here.

Hikaru scrunched her face. The game was starting to get boring after playing this many times. "You sure? That's like the ninth game we played already," then she said smugly, "and I'll just win again."

"Not this time you won't," Daichi countered fiercely as he started pushing the controls to restart the game. Hikaru raised one incredulous brow, but, never being one to back down from her brother's challenges, shrugged, grabbed her controller and got ready for another round.

Barely a minute into their new race, where the siblings were already in the spirit of friendly competition, meaning they were already shouting and cursing at each other or at the screen (but generally at each other) at the top of their lungs, a sharp rap on the door startled the two.

"Daichi, Hikaru," the voice of their mother began through the door, sounding slightly annoyed and probably going to tell them to keep it down again, before she peered into the room, blinked, and promptly lost her marbles as most mothers do when they encounter an unkempt room. "DAICHI! Look at your room! The BOXES!" -waves hand- "What is this! I can't _believe_ you're playing video games when you didn't even unpack everything!" -more violent gesturing- "This room is such _a mess_! Daichi Shindou, turn off the game this instant!" If looks could kill, the Shindou household would have one less family member at this moment. Mitsuko Shindou was a force to be reckoned with when mad, and memories of enduring hours and hours of nagging and seemingly endless chores had Daichi scrambling to the console.

"I was just taking a break, okaa-san" Daichi said lamely when the screen shut off, trying to find an excuse, then, pointing at Hikaru, said, "Besides, Hikaru's probably not done either."

"Hey!" Hikaru yelled hotly, swerving to face her brother at his attempt to drag her in too, but she then turned her nose in the air and proclaimed triumphantly. "Ha! For your information, I finished unpacking last night." She'd stuck most of her stuff in her closet, but no one needed to know that. Daichi's 'tched' in response, though quietly under his breath so their mother couldn't hear.

Mitsuko sternly faced her son, "Daichi, you're going to finish unpacking and clean this room, young man. And Hikaru," here she turned to Hikaru, who mock-saluted with a mischievous grin, "I was going to ask both of you - but since your brother will be busy _right Daichi ("Yes, okaa-san," Daichi said dejectedly)_ \- you'll just have to do it on your own. I need you to deliver a lunchbox to your grandpa. It's downstairs on the kitchen table. I wrote down the address on a piece of paper next to it. Meanwhile, I'm off to work. I guess I'll go to the supermarket later and grab some groceries too. Daichi, also watch Yuto and make sure he doesn't break anything or hurt himself. We don't want a repeat of what happened last week."

 _"Aww what_... Didn't we just see grandpa yesterday? I don't even know my way around the street yet!"

"How can I unpack _and_ watch Yuto? Five people aren't enough to watch Yuto!"

Both voicing complaints over one another, the siblings hurriedly followed after their mom as she started down the stairs to their living room. Hikaru was just lazy. But Daichi was filled with some genuine apprehension. By some societal standards, their youngest brother Yuto may actually be a genius, but the Shindou household and their old neighbors who lived within a mile radius had long agreed that "the one who will one day save the world or blow it up into a bajillion pieces, either one" was a more accurate description for the young boy. Ever since that day an old, tattered chemistry book found its way into Yuto's hands a year ago ("It fell from the sky," he had answered with a straight face), the world had never been the same again.

In fact, the first thing they did moving in was to padlock the cabinet that stored all the laundry detergents, soaps, baking soda and every other substance and chemical they could find (Hikaru even threw in some crayons for good measure). And even then, that might not even stop him… (In their old town, where muttered-under-breath, not-so-secret nicknames for every family were commonplace, they were known as the 'Stubborn Shindous'. And while Hikaru and Daichi were pretty proud of that –hey, at least it was better than what the 'Greasy Gotos' and the 'Yelling Yamashitas' got- they wished it wasn't the case for Yuto; they didn't want to be _that_ well-acquainted with the fire department in this new place as well.)

Because while normal families probably worried over their six year-olds consuming the chemicals when unwatched, this family worried over their six year-old mixing the chemicals and possibly either blowing the city up or creating a whole new state of matter. Neither were consequences their mother was prepared to face yet.

Mitsuko at this point was already rifling through her purse for her wallet. Facing her petulant-looking daughter, she said, "Your grandpa is out with his friends. You know how forgetful he is. Well, your grandma called saying he forgot his lunch today, and we both thought it'd be very sweet for his grandchildren to go bring it. Besides, this is a good opportunity for you to explore the city." She pulled out a few bills from her wallet. "Here's some money for the train, Hikaru. Daichi, Yuto's taking a nap right now, so just make sure not to make too much noise. You'll be fine."

Slipping on her shoes, she waved at the two of them from the door. "Hikaru, get to it. I'll be back before dinner." And with that, their mother was gone, leaving behind two teenagers who each thought they'd gotten the short end of the stick.

Hikaru groaned audibly and, turning to her brother, said pointedly, "You know, Sora's the luckiest of us all."

Daichi couldn't help but agree.

* * *

She'd been in Tokyo more than a few times before in the past. All those New Years and Christmas visits to see her grandparents. That one school trip with her middle-school classmates from their little town, where everyone except her stood dumbstruck in the face of all the lights, sounds, sights, and the sheer closeness and number of everything (it wasn't so much a feast but an overwhelming attack on their senses.) After all those trips, Hikaru thought that she already had at least some familiarity with the sprawling metropolis.

Turns out she was dead wrong. Tokyo was somehow even more alien than the last time she'd been here.

Because while Tokyo was big, it was nonetheless also crowded and complicated in a way a girl born and raised in the countryside would have little experience navigating. To make matters worse, the summer sun was blazing, and heat was aggressively trapped inside the modern jungle of concrete and steel. The pavements sizzled under the shoes of uncomfortable men and women as they hurriedly kept out of the sunlight as much as possible.

Hikaru wiped off the sweat off a brow while simultaneously glaring at the app on her phone. The darn thing had already told her to make more turns than a snake game. The phone was probably laughing at her for stupidly following its instructions up to this point too. Nothing around her looked familiar. Granted, she was completely new to the area. But there were too many shops and houses. Too many intersections and streets, and the sun so unrelenting and hot she might be getting dizzy and confused. _Water, I need water_ , Hikaru groaned, eyeing her surroundings.

By some miracle, the walk to the train station from her house had gone on without a hitch. The train ride had also gone on without a hitch...wait…actually, scratch that… she had actually gotten into a fight.

Hikaru arrived at the station after walking for some fifteen minutes -all the way lamenting why they lived so far from the subway (honestly, the reason was that it was a lot cheaper) and wishing she was indoors and not baking outside. The train station was pretty much what someone would expect the Tokyo Shinkansen to be like: a dizzying, bustling moving of people in a surprisingly orderly fashion. The midday commuters were everywhere, moving out from one train and hopping to the next or walking hurriedly to the nearest stairs and exit. Still others milled about, waiting for their train to appear.

Hikaru almost missed them. Another train had stopped by and a new deluge of commuters were moving to and fro. But some point in the sea of people suddenly held her attention. In the far back wall of the subway station, three teenagers appeared to be loitering. As she drew closer, the scene became more clear. Hikaru's eyes flashed with ire. The girl had her back against the wall and looked too uncomfortable for anyone's taste. Two teenage boys stood facing her, standing so close there was no way they weren't in her personal space. Their postures imitated casualness, and to the unassuming crowd it would appear that they were just another normal group of teenagers lounging about. But their eyes held a predatory glint and their smiles were harsh. The taller of the two rested an arm to the side of the wall, next to the girl's head. The girl swallowed, eyeing the arm warily.

"It's not everyday you see guys as handsome as us you know." The guy ran a hand through his shaggy, oily mane. "Handsome" was the overstatement of the century. He eyed the girl leerily and smiled, "I know a great place to hang out. Alcohol. Games. Let's go." It wasn't so much a suggestion as a threat, with the way he positioned himself menacingly over her.

"N-no.., I h-have to…" the girl stuttered, pushing herself further against the wall.

"Have to what?" he asked, still smiling while roughly grabbing the strap of her school bag at her shoulder.

This would be easy, he thought, pleased. A shy girl who wouldn't put up a fight. They could easily take her and – Suddenly, out of nowhere, a force to his shoulder knocked him aside and lose his breath.

It wasn't enough to make him fall, but enough to make him stumble a few steps.

 _What was that!_ he snarled as he turned to face his perpetrator.

Electric blond bangs. Striking green eyes.

The girl in front of him had him momentarily dazed. White tank top, jean shorts, slim figure, and a smart, pretty mouth. He whistled, then turned to his friend. Both smirked to the other and raised their eyebrows suggestively as if speaking a secret language. Hikaru, seeing the exchange, glanced heavenwards in the face of stupidity.

"Okay, I suggest you assholes leave before you start praying there's a hospital nearby," Hikaru faced them, a grin on her face, her tone cheery as if she hadn't just issued them a threat.

The boys appeared confused and surprised at her words. Then, oily hair scoffed and smirked. Moving quickly, he made a sudden grab for her arm.

Years of soccer hadn't been for nothing. With muscle reflex, Hikaru quickly sidestepped his reach before pivoting, swinging her right leg back and striking the back of his knees in one lightning fast motion. The guy toppled to the floor in an instant. If Creep #2 was surprised at all by the fact that his friend had been soundly whipped in a matter of seconds, surprise was quickly replaced –with mad rage or plain idiocy, no one could tell- and he stepped in front of Hikaru, snarling, fist pulled back about to hit her - only to have the wind knocked out of him by a hard kick to the stomach. He too crashed onto the floor.

By now the scene had attracted a small, curious crowd. Elderly and middle-aged men and women started to look on with disapproving faces. The two delinquents pushed themselves to their feet, breathing hard, their expression murderous. Hikaru cracked her knuckles (it was times like these, she thought, that she could totally be the badass main character of her own ShonenJump manga) and grinned when both visibly flinched. Seeing the growing crowd of watchers, the two turned to each other apprehensively, knowing that it wasn't worth it to continue. Scowling and throwing dirty looks back at Hikaru's direction, they squeezed out of the crowd and left.

The throng of onlookers began to dispersed when it looked like the excitement was over. Hikaru went to pick up the lunch bag from the floor where she left it by the wall before confronting the guys.

"Um", a voice spoke behind her. Hikaru turned her head. It was the girl that the guys had been bothering in the first place.

"Thank you," the girl said sincerely, smiling. Hikaru thought she looked friendly, with warm brown eyes and long, dark amber hair with pigtails at the side. She was looking at Hikaru with visible awe.

"No problem," Hikaru grinned, "they were real jerks."

"My name's Akari," she held out her hand. "What's yours?"

"Shindou Hikaru," Hikaru shook hands cheerfully.

Akari's expression turned inquisitive. "Do you go to school around here?" she asked Hikaru, tilting her head and eyeing Hikaru's clothes. Akari herself was wearing her school uniform. "You don't look much older than me…" she trailed off.

Hikaru laughed. "I just moved here, actually. I have no idea where I'll be going to school," she scratched her chin sheepishly. Then, her eye suddenly caught the giant clock at the end of the station and saw the time. "Shit, I gotta go! Hey, do you know how to get onto the red line?"

Akari blinked at the rapid outburst, but smiled easily, "Yeah, it's that platform #3 right there. Oh! There's a train there already! If you hurry, you can still make it." She pointed to the platform

"Thanks!" Hikaru waved as she started taking off.

"No problem! Thanks again!" Akari shouted and waved back, grinning.

After that, it was a relatively smooth train ride. Hikaru had found herself fascinated by the passing cityscape outside the wide train windows. It was so different from the untamed hills of the countryside.

Currently, though, she was still in the grueling process of finding what place exactly was this address that her mother had written down. The nice lady at the Starbucks Hikaru found refuge in after practically collapsing from the heat had at least recognized the street and gave her some simple directions to find it. Hikaru hoped it wasn't in some sketchy part of town.

Honestly speaking, she wouldn't be surprised to find her grandpa in some smoky joint with a bunch of other old guys smoking cigars around a mahjong table. It was his face and, perhaps more so, his personality. And the fact that he smoked way too much, especially at his age.

Mistuko had taught her children the bad effects of cigarettes early on and enlisted them to always steal the cigarette packs from jiji's pocket and throw them away whenever they visited him and obaa-chan.

Hikaru scanned her map on her phone again and peered at her surroundings. The scene had gradually became less city-like and more suburban. Trees dotted her peripheral vision and she could make out more houses as well as a library and even a park at the end. The GPS on her phone registered her as being close by. Hikaru could almost weep with joy. Turning at the corner of a stony path, she'd finally arrived in front of her destination.

Oh.

…

Really, she should have known.

* * *

There was a twinkle in his eye, the one that generally annoyed the hell out of Ogata (though one could argue that everything the Honinbo did seemed to annoy the hell out of Ogata). The group had temporarily stopped the post-game discussion for lunch break. Pros old and new stood up, stretched, and generally wandered off to find some lunch. Ogata had pulled out a cigarette, lit it, and was about to walk off to smoke when he noticed that the old man stayed sitting alone by the goban, lighting up a cigar also and staring at the board contemplatively.

Ogata frowned. The game was one played between Shimada 3-dan and Isumi 4-dan earlier. There were some good moves played, but overall, Ogata thought, it was a rather uneventful game. Nothing that should warrant that much attention from Kuwabara, who seemed, if possible, to be in an even better mood than his usual annoyingly happy self. The Judan's eyes twitched. Why was the coot even here today in the first place? There were no scheduled games. And as far as he and everyone else knew, Kuwabara never played casual games. The thought of the old man never practicing and yet unfailingly keeping the Honinbo title in his clutches every year irked the Judan to no end. Ogata had a nagging thought that the man just came here to annoy him.

"Skipping lunch?" Ogata asked coolly, dragging out a stream of smoke, with a face of casual indifference.

Kuwabara turned to face him, and grinned with all his teeth. "My granddaughter is bringing me lunch today," he cackled, pleased.

This statement was met by incredulous looks from the majority of the room who had overheard. One of Ogata's eyes twitched again.

This was the first time anyone had even heard that the old man had a family, never mind grandchildren. Everyone had honestly assumed Kuwabara was a bachelor his whole life. It was hard to imagine him as anything but the cryptic, eccentric old man that randomly appear and scare insei and even some of the older pros with his cackling laugh.

Though he was masking it well, Ogata may have been the most surprised. The Judan was known to have one of the fierecest rivalries in the go world with the Honinbo. It was still rather one-sided, but Ogata was the strongest contender for the Honinbo title in recent years and was already heralded as one of the strongest go players in Japan. Kuwabara just wasn't letting go of his title.

With how many games they'd played and the witty banters shared between the two, not once had the thought of his nemesis's private life appeared in the forefront of any of his thoughts. The possibility of Kuwabara having a family life outside of go was bizarre.

And dare he say… normal?

Ogata shook his head, and took another long drag of his cigarette. One things for sure, he's staying discreetly to see Kuwabara interacting with his family. Maybe he can even get some blackmail material. Or at least see something amusing, judging by the silly-happy expression on the old man's face.

Other people in the room seemed just as curious. Less people trickled out of the room. Some pros suddenly found reason to sit nearby to eat their lunch.

Amongst them, Amano was a reporter for go weekly and his interest perked. A granddaughter of the Honinbo! This wasn't exactly news material, unless… and here was the vital question.

"Kuwabara-sensei," Amano started excitedly as Kuwabara looked up, "your granddaughter, does she by any chance-"

Amano never got to finish. The door to the usually-quiet room flew open with a loud bang that nearly jarred everyone out of their skins. Standing at the entrance was a green-eyed girl in a fashionable top and flip-flops. Teenagers weren't an abnormal sight at the go institute, but the girl certainly didn't look like the teenagers that were regularly here.

"Old man! I got your lunch!" Hikaru hollered, holding up her delivery. Her voice could be heard even from the far corners of the room. Hikaru blinked and belatedly realized how many people there were in front of her, all slack-jawed and staring with no small amount of astonishment. She'd mistakenly thought that only her grandpa would be in the room. Her back suddenly flushed hot in embarrassment. Blushing, she quickly scanned through the faces to find her ojii-san. Her eyes landed on him.

"Old man- ahh!" Eyes grew even wider in the room as the girl stomped to where the Honinbo was sitting and proceeded to snatch Kuwabara's cigar from his fingers and chuck it into the nearest smoke can. "How many times do we have to tell you, you geezer?! Smoking is bad for you!" Hikaru cried despairingly.

 _Did she just yell at the Honinbo?_ the room collectively thought in silent wonder. Because it appeared she just did exactly that.

"They're good for my health brat! How else do you think I've lived for so long?" Kuwabara cackled, his outburst of flawed logic to the surprise of no one. He didn't look too disappointed with the loss of his cigar, though, instead turning to face his granddaughter, "Where's my lunch?"

Hikaru rolled her eyes. "Here," she said and handed over the lunch pack her mom made. Kuwabara waited no time at all to start eating, chewing with relish the sweetened eggs and rice balls. His daughter had made all his favorites. Hikaru, sitting down, took the chance to glance up at her surroundings.

"Seriously gramps, tell your smoking buddy to hover somewhere else," she complained, "It smells".

The room twittered with noise. Some managed to suppressed chuckles into poorly executed coughs. One person in the back looked like he was dying, shoulders shaking in silent laughter. In contrast, quite a number of insei and pros in the room were mortified for the young girl. Of all people to say this to, it had to be Ogata Judan! No one bothered hiding the fact that they were eavesdropping at that particular area of the room now. Everyone waited with bated breath at Ogata's reaction.

Brows furrowed, Ogata only set an ice-cold glare at the girl. Like grandfather, like granddaughter, he muttered to himself, feeling a headache coming on. He'd never been so insulted in his life, to be seen as the "smoking buddy" of the old man.

"Hikaru, don't be so rude to poor Seiji-kun," Kuwabara's eyes laughed with mirth, "He needs to smoke away his loss of another title."

"That was five months ago," Ogata grounded out darkly. He swore on his life once again he'd take the Honinbo title next time, if only to rub it into this old coot's face and do his fair share of goading.

Hikaru looked back and forth between the two. Wow, this glasses smoker guy really didn't like her ojii-chan. Irritation rolled off him in waves, marring his handsome features. In a way, she could sympathize. Her gramps loved to tease and joke, at things often only he found funny. He could be a lot to handle sometimes.

Seeing the way this "Seiji-kun" was glaring at her grandpa, and the fun her grandpa was having at his expense, Hikaru found herself momentarily glad that her ojii-chan found a place that didn't mind all his eccentricities, and someone who could handle all his verbal jabs.

"Okay gramps, I got you your lunch," Hikaru said, standing up, "I'm off now." Her task was done.

"Poor old me," Kuwabara immediately declared, "My granddaughter leaves me just when she gets here." If he were capable, crocodile tears would have rolled down the man's face. He made a big show anyway. Hikaru winced with guilt.

"Geez ojii-chan! You're not that old yet," Hikaru muttered. "And I just saw you yesterday!" But she obliged, sitting next to her gramps again. She took out her phone, and between what looked like texting a mile a minute –typical teenager behavior- and regular grandfather-granddaughter banter (some people were still doing a double take seeing Kuwabara laughing with a family member, looking like a normal grandparent), the initial excitement started to die down. Go players and spectators gradually dispersed and resumed their lunch break. Though they had been interested in the prospect of the granddaughter possibly following in the Honinbo's footsteps, it was hilarious think that the pretty, rambunctious girl had ever held a go stone in her life.

There was but one goban in the room. And it had been standing so close to where she was that there was no chance Hikaru hadn't noticed it from the start. Even now, she tried to ignore it as best as she could. Candy Crush was helpful; she was really flying through these levels.

"Do you play?"

Hikaru was wrested from her thoughts. Concentration broken, she looked away from her phone screen to who had spoken to her. Smoker-san, she recognized, a little irritated. _He was still here?_ At least he wasn't holding a cigarette anymore. "What?" she asked.

Ogata, face impassive, repeated, "Do you play?"

A part of her whispered _Play dumb_. _"Play what? Go? What's that?"_

But another part of her felt unsettled, unnerved at why the pale-haired, white-suited pro had picked her out suddenly. He stared down at her with a sharp, pointed gaze. Hikaru's words twisted on her tongue, scaly and slippery.

"No," she said honestly, finally, because it wasn't a lie. (The word still came out lacking the finality she imagined in her head.) She looked straight into his eyes as she said it.

Ogata said nothing, merely nodded like she only affirmed his initial impression of her. But… what was that earlier? Had he imagined that look on her face? He glanced at Kuwabara. The old geezer was completely engrossed with his food. Ogata sighed, inwardly decided to drop his earlier train of thought as he walked off, thinking that he best save his sanity by avoiding the old geezer and every member of his family – every one of them liked to play games with his mind.

Kuwabara quietly ate his lunch. The exchange earlier hadn't escaped his notice.

He glanced at his granddaughter. Hikaru was twiddling away on her phone again. It wasn't anything unordinary, but something about her expression seemed off. It seemed off since she took too long of a glance at the go board ( _an interesting game_ , Kuwabara had thought earlier, _if only…_ ).

Her smile was a little more forced.

And her voice was a little shaky when she said good-bye.

 _I'm getting too old,_ Kuwabara thought to himself sadly, _to ponder half-truths._

* * *

"Yo, good of you to be back after hitting all the food joints in Tokyo," Daichi drawled sarcastically.

"I texted you and said I was gonna be late," Hikaru shrugged. Daichi guessed right. She ended up exploring around Tokyo after all, specifically the fast food and milk tea shops.

"Yeah, well you know what I did? I prevented two house fires and one volcano eruption! I saved our freaking lives!" Halfway through his statement, indignation turned to tears.

"You did a good job Daichi," Hikaru said sympathetically, patting her brother on the back. Daichi wept comically in response.

"Hey, where's Yuto?" she scanned the living room for their youngest sibling.

"I'm here," 6-year-old Yuto Shindou called, scrambling down the stairs. Hikaru caught her brother in a hug.

"Let's play soccer!" she suggested. The heat had finally let out a little, and the backyard had plenty of shade. Her siblings quickly agreed. Daichi grabbed their soccer ball from the sea of half-opened boxes. They went behind the house. It wasn't as much space as their old home, but the siblings nonetheless had fun kicking the ball to each other.

Soon enough, the Tokyo sunset broke through the cracks between the steel grey buildings in the city horizon. The sky colored a radiant combination of pink, red, and orange hues. Tired and sweaty at this point, Daichi and Yuto both ambled back into the house.

A cool wind blew down the streets of their new house, rustling the trees. It played with the strands of Hikaru's hair, blowing it gently across her face as she stared at the sky. Hikaru suddenly felt inexplicably homesick. She'd only just moved, so this was probably normal, but in this moment, something ate horribly at her insides.

Today, she had seen something that she hadn't for years.

The go game from earlier that day appeared, each stone white-black-white-black in their precise coordinates behind her eyelids every time she closed them. The sight had been arresting, like a whirlpool drawing her in.

"Hey Hikaru! I think okaa-san's back," Daichi yelled from inside the house. He saw her back faced away from him through the window. His sister looked like she was standing oddly still, watching the sunset. He felt worry pinch at his heart.

"Okay! Got it!" Hikaru yelled back. She didn't turn around, but Daichi inwardly sighed in relief, then turned, heeding Mitsuko's call for help carrying groceries.

He'd narrowly missed seeing Hikaru's tears, her blotchy, scrunched face, quiet weeping because _go, go, go_.

The game. The board. The stones. All the things that never failed to make her feel like she was sinking into dark depths with no chance of oxygen.

Because what was go without Sai? Without Sai beside her, teaching her, across the board, smiling and patiently explaining the game to her? _Nothing_ , Hikaru had swore to herself four years ago.

Go was _nothing_ without Sai.

For a single moment, the air hung stagnant, and nothing seemed to matter. The world lost its colors until there was only grey. Hikaru stifled another sob that threatened to rise and escape from her throat.

She'd been doing fine. She hung out with friends, played soccer, annoyed her mom with her loud antics, had fun with her brothers. Her life was on track. She was like every other teenager out there. She had come a long way from those days where she laid paralyzed with grief. She had healed.

She had never forgotten her first and best friend. Her mentor. Her protector. Hikaru doubted she ever could. He had disappeared as suddenly as he had materialized in front of her young self that one fateful day. In her earliest memories, Sai was an ephemeral being, too beautiful to be one of the scary ghosts of her storybooks; and he looked so fragile she was relieved sometimes that he didn't have a physical body. Hikaru had never once questioned how he had come to be. She never questioned that he could leave.

After Sai disappeared, Hikaru placed the goban he sprang from inside a large cardboard box. The box lid was firmly sealed, and she carried the entire thing to the furthest corner of her closet where it would gather dust over the years to come.

Hikaru would never touch a go stone again. Sai was gone, taking with him his game. And in the absence of go, Hikaru slowly mended her broken heart.

Eyes clouded as she stared up at the sky, Hikaru mulled over the events of the day. In the four years that have passed, go was only a distant memory of only times she treasured but could never go back to. The fact that she lived in the secluded countryside where good wifi reception was a dream best forgotten helped her take her mind off the game easily.

But today… Barely a full day has passed since she moved into Tokyo and she was already shaken awake, nerves doused, staring at a goban and riveting game between black and white. She knew she would eventually come face to face with the go again. Heck, her grandfather was the Honinbo (a fact she always tried to conveniently forget at New Years visits). But no amount of mental preparedness prepared her for the abrupt quickening of her heart. The jolt down her spine. The nerves within her body twitching and humming like a warm fire at the ends of her fingers. She was prepared for the sadness, the grief, and it came, in cold, heavy waves. But in that dark, cloudy haze, for a brief moment…

The _want_ was unmistakable.

Is that what it was, Hikaru thought to herself, I want to play go?

It was a dangerous thought to dwell on. Because she had already moved on…because she had a normal life, family, friends, soccer, school. And she was content… happy… she had not played for years, probably had even forgotten to how to play…

Because just _looking_ at a go game after all these years spun her out of balance, sent her emotions reeling. Because no one knows that she once had a ghost for a friend, a ghost who was the best go player in the world -in history- and how could she play when he couldn't?

"Hikaru! What are you doing out there? Come back inside!" Mitsuko voiced exasperatedly. No doubt she had seen all the boxes still lying below the stairs. That, or she discovered her closet of things Hikaru supposedly unpacked.

"Nothing! I'm coming," Hikaru yelled back. She wiped her face with her shirt sleeve. She took a breath before slowly expelling it, forcing herself to clear away her chaotic thoughts. She was in control of her life. She hadn't played go in four years and would never play again. This she had promised herself. She treasured the memories that she had with the game, but that was in the past.

This was the present, and she was the one who decides where her life goes. Feeling suddenly determined and a lot calmer, Hikaru started walking back towards the house.

She was here now, in a new city, starting a new life. It had surprised her to see the game that she hadn't set sight on for ages literally the first day she set foot outside her new town. But, it's unlikely to ever happen again, she thought.

And if it did happen again, surely, surely nothing would change, Hikaru desperately hoped.

* * *

 **A couple of days later and I would have had to live with the guilt that there were two years between updates. To all the people who favorite/followed the story after reading that sorry little prologue, I cannot express my thanks enough. You guys are amazing!**


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